Thank God for Friends

Why would one choose not to seek out friendship from another? I had a dear pastor friend state to me in a time of fear and of "funkiness" that he would rather risk getting hurt and Love than not to have Loved at all. This statement has never left me and so I share today some love stories.

"Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father..." Proverbs 27:10

I enjoy an evening with good friends, those in whom you have been sick of only to become nauseous when they speak about moving. - One nice relaxing evening at home a friend stopped by to visit. As we were sharing about our day and spending time a noise came from the front door. We were captured with silence as the darkness was thick on the outside. The noise happened again and it sounded as if someone was trying to open the door. In panic we all accessed the situation in our minds of what to do - first as any good man would do, I did nothing. In her own powerful adrenaline flow my wife proceeds to run to the door, grab hold of the door knob and prop her whole body up against the door so there is no way the demon on the other side could get through. After a moment of quietness I go to the door, my wife flips the light on and then proceeds to open the door to find the CAT playing with the doorknob. Well, we take a deep breath and as we head back to our seats we notice our friend laying on the coach with the throw pulled up over her face, feet showing - as if the blanket was made of steal and would protect her from the monster trying to kill her.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

Another evening at home our friend stops by and this time we are enjoying the evening on the front porch. Sharing for the day - never gossiping - I, being the strapping man I am notice in the dark of the night a long slender figure on the porch one post away. As I realized what "it" was I gentle say to our friend to move slowly and quietly to the door of the house - It was a HUGH black snake making it's way from above down a porch post. Now, I did what any outdoors-man like myself would do and ran inside the house. Our friend followed and we both had a time of squealing like girls. The snake moved rather quickly and when we thought of how close it was without our knowledge - we squealed some more. The woman of the house - my wife - proceeded to handle the situation with a rock; A ROCK! That's my girl!! My wife began throwing the rock at the creature of large pa-portions and with every throw our friend and my self would squeal again. My wife seemed to have completed destroying the beast. She then turned to enter the house and found us peering through the glass on the front door. She realized by having the door shut tightly for nothing to enter; the house had been kept safe by myself, our friend and our 80 pound black lab.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27: 6

Our friends can be seen as an interesting mix; a full blooded Mexican woman and a full blooded white man. Through the years we have laughed, cried, smiled, fussed, cried and cried some more. I, in my younger days of getting acquainted with this man that is married to the Mexican woman, had always sought out ways to loosen up this "always having it together type" of a man. They are blessed with two beautiful boys and we have enjoyed our times of growing together as friends for 10+ years. - Myself, my friend and his son were coming back to my house from doing something? It had began to rain. I, with my bright ideas and constantly seeking out ways to crack the tough exterior shell of "the man" proceeded to climb on the trampoline and jump in the rain. With no hesitation my friend and his son climb on the trampoline as well and we jumped away. What a picture - two grown men and a moose of younger man jumping around on a trampoline - IN THE RAIN - my heart warms as I think back.

"A man of many companions my come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

No one sticks closer than a brother in our time(s) of need than Jesus Christ - but when you have no where to turn - thank God for FRIENDS!

Please enjoy the video song today. When it first was recorded - the radio's ran it in the ground. But, as years have passed and we have grown closer to many of our friends, the song means more now than ever.

Please scroll down for some friendship pics - what's really cool is while your listening to the song, look at the pics.

Sick of the Rain

Perseverance
–noun

1.	steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

2.	Theology. continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

One Sunday morning I arrived early as usual to review the music for the service that morning and found something on the piano; a letter, typed and no name. I proceeded to open it and read. It was stating the complaints of what this individual did not like about how I chose to lead the music. Don't you just love how Satan gets his stabs in before Sunday morning service? I showed the letter to the pastor that week and he proceeded to throw it in the trash and explained that if they could not identify themselves, then it was not to worry about.

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" James 1:12

When I was younger I played the tambourine. Yes, I would direct with one hand and play the tambourine with the other. Now mind you I realize at times that the tambourine got on peoples nerves, but only one would proceed to make fun of it. Yes, they were grown and claimed to be a Christian.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" Romans 8:18

One Wednesday Evening we were having choir practice and I as usual would be enjoying the practice as much as the service; sometimes more. Only to look at yet again a grown person sitting in the choir making fun of me by literally mocking me when I shouted - yes I used to shout - and also mimicking my hand motions as I directed. No, I'm not kidding.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope; and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans: 3-5

One Christmas season we began to make preparations for the children's program - I miss directing the children, they were always fun - anyway, the pastor asked where the poinsettia tree would need to go so we would not have to move it for props this year. I explained to the pastor that we would have to move the tree regardless so it did not matter were they placed it. The Sunday night after our first rehearsal with props I received a call from the wonderful christian lady stating that the pastor said it didn't matter where we placed the poinsettia tree and so if one damn leaf falls from one poinsettia, that I would be paying for all the plants; and then hung up. Needless to say the pastor got a "new one".

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Funk

–noun

1.	cowering fear; state of great fright or terror.

2.	a dejected mood: He's been in a funk ever since she walked out on him.

–verb (used with object)

3.	to be afraid of.

4.	to frighten.

5.	to shrink from; try to shirk.

–verb (used without object)

6.	to shrink or quail in fear.

After reading and understanding the word funk, I'm less likely to use it describing myself anymore. But it is true - when we are in a funk it's just fear - and we know what the Bible says about fear - 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." I do not believe the Lord while on this earth would have used the word "funk" - seeing that it would have been a sin.

Well now we know that being in a "funk" because of trials needs to produce "perseverance" not fear.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

It's like seeing the rain for days and days forgetting what the sun looks like, beginning to complain - and then you remember how precious the sun feels as soon as it breaks through the clouds and lands warm and comforting on your face.

So I have been sick of the rain many times and have retreated into a funk - why not, look where I have been and the obstacles in my life; surely that gives me the right.

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119":11

Wrong, I do not get a special "get out of the funk free card". And why would we want one? The truth is that I have realized that yes I get sick of the rain. Yes, I get sick of the trials! One thing I have come to prove is that when I am in a "funk" because I am sick of the rain, I'm not getting attached. But, when I chose to serve; then I get attached and feel the rain.

"I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees: I will not neglect your word." Psalm 119: 15-16

So I remember; do I want to not serve, stay in a funk, not get attached and be completely out of touch with God producing much fear and anxiety - or do I rest in assurance that the more attacks I receive the more on target I am.

So just remember that if you want to test your standing with the Lord - just don't serve the Lord and become complacent - not really doing anything but playing church. You will soon be non-attacked because you are not a threat to the kingdom.

But when you get sick of the funk, like I have and you realize that the only way sometimes to feel God is to serve and feel the rain by taking on the attacks only to serve and perseverance that much more; it is then when you can truly stand and shout "BRING IT ON" even when you are truly - sick of the rain.

Please enjoy the song selection - "Bring the Rain".

Just like an addict

Addicted - devoted or given up to a practice or habit or to something psychologically or physically habit-forming (usually fol. by to): Addict - To occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively:

I remember as a child the first time I looked at pornography. I could not possibly have realized how much damage the first look would have done in my future. I had found a refuge in my pain and confusion even as a child. Where was the Word to save me? Why was I not able to speak to my father about such confusion within my head?

I am 38 years old and I can still remember what the deacon's son did to me as a child. I thought he just wanted to be my friend. I thought this must be what everyone does. I remember even then thinking that this did not feel right, but it must be ok or my friend would not being showing me all these games. It must be natural getting as close as we did explaining all of what I needed to do to him. After my body began to grow more mature, it was then I realized that no, it was not natural and I would began to hate my father.

Not real sure why I would place the hate and anger on my father. My best guess would be that I felt betrayed and that he should have saved me from what I did not know. As I grew through puberty I would then began to place blame on my "God". You know the one who knows everything and sees everything and can do what He wants; BUT NOT STOP MY PERPETRATOR.

I really had a hard time with Jeremiah 1:5 - "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;" - OK, what was the point of allowing me to be born and then allowing a screwed up deacon's child to screw up my life. Always had a hard time with the loving God. Was having a hard time feeling the love on this one.

Many nights I would cry out in my suffering and pain of confusion and despair and simply ask why? Only to be comforted with no answer, just silence. I would spend my high school years praying for death. It would have been easier to have been born in a family with no faith, then I could just be who I felt I had been created to be. How about the verse - "I created you in my image" Genesis 1:27. Now there's one to sit and ponder when all you've come to know is perversion.

I would spend days, weeks, months and years asking WHY? I would then graduate from high school, leave home and began college. I would begin living the life I was born to live only to find more pain and heartache.

I would become an addict.

Void - an empty space; emptiness: He disappeared into the void.

something experienced as a loss or privation: His death left a great void in her life.

a gap or opening, as in a wall.

a vacancy; vacuum.

I had become an addict to feel the void of being less than all I knew. I had learned about God's love and grace in the church. I tried the church but it left me feeling empty. I had to fill my void, my vacancy. The quickest way was to become an addict. The only disappointing thing is that you never get filled. Surely you can understand why someone would want to die; living a life of confusion and despair because your innocence was taken from you before you began to live. Coming to understand that your belief was different than how you were molded at age 6.

No, it doesn't surprise me anymore to hear of people taking there lives. I still think about it from time to time myself.

Even though I wasted a lot of my days choosing to be an addict to fill the void, I still cannot turn from God's word. No, I do not understand why God allowed me to be molested and my life altered in such a demonic way. No, I do not understand why I would lead a life of confusion only to be told you cannot live the way you feel.

Satan is the author of confusion and it is his job to steal, kill and destroy - but Jesus Christ comes to give life (John 10:10).

How do you leave one addiction to start a new one? How do you fill the void with God when all you have known is perversion? The only thing you can do is fill the void with the Word.

You see I believe that God allowed what happened to me because He knew the only way I would serve him is to fill the void. To survive I would have to fill the void with Him and only Him. I would have to be consumed with His Word (Joshua 1).

I have defeated a lot of enemies by this principle of Joshua 1. Here I am again defeated attempting to fill the void again with other things - family, money, job, music. I am to scared to keep fighting the fight. I'm not as young as I used to be to keep taking the blows.

God help me to eat your word again. Help me to become useful once again. Bring me back to my first love (Revelation 2).

Philippians 1:20 - 21 "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

His grace is sufficient - 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Renew the mind - fill the void and mind with the word and seek holiness - Romans 12

Let's strive to fill our voids with the Word. Everyone has them, you my think your void fillers are justified - but they still stink; JUST LIKE AN ADDICT.

Another Pastor

I remember when I began in the ministry in 1992. Wow, who would thought that would sound old. I was nervous and excited. I actually started out in Youth ministry and graduated to the music ministry. I remember placing all my energy into loving those kids knowing I was going to make a difference in there lives. The pastor was great. I got to know the pastor's family well. I was so full of life and ready to take on anything. Then the real ministry began. The ministry of warfare.

Not really knowing what that was, I resigned that I would always serve God and the church; just like my father. I did not understand yet that the "struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" Ephesians 6:12 - God, if I would have really got all that before I began my journey. I mean if you really process that verse, you may take more time to think about what you are getting into.

But I didn't. I didn't care, I just wanted to make a difference in people's lives. I knew that I could. On the road to making a difference, I would minister with my superior - The Pastor. Now, I really never had thought that would be a problem; until the day I realized that "they" are human too. I have never had an issue of respecting and supporting my pastor, my coworker and most the time my friend. After all I was raised well. I was raised never to disrespect my elders and those over me in the ministry. I haven't always agreed - but NEVER have I disrespected.

My first pastor loved me. He also married me and my lovely bride. He loved to sing and one of his favorites was "People Need The Lord". He finally mustard up the nerve to sing it in church one Sunday and it was so precious. The song was as precious as his heart. This pastor help me check myself into the Psych hospital and then wanted to know all about it; love him.

My second pastor was an Indian - full blooded he was. I remember one Sunday - I think was "old timer's day" or "farmers day" something like that, when he wore his chief outfit - headdress and all; that was cool. Now, he wasn't much on the get to know real well side, but that was ok. He loved me just the same.

My third pastor was CRAZY. I worked with him for 8 long months. He would tell me stories of when he was in the war to purposely scare me. I think one time I peed in my pants. I thought I might go back to the hospital working with this one. So I was able (thank God) to go back and get my old job with pastor number 2.

My fourth pastor loved the lost. He had a great desire to see many come to the Lord. I remember the day we voted him into the church body - 100% - Wow! One of the statements that he made in his trial sermon was "I would rather my daughter marry a black man that loved the lord, than a white man that did not". Now I will never understand how he got voted in at all, much less 100% since that church was prejudice as they came. Well he lasted there 1 year. He loved me too. Organizational skills, or the lack of drove me crazy! But I loved him.

My fifth pastor loved me more than any of the above. After 14 years in the ministry, I was finally a full-time minister of music and youth. After 2 1/2 years my personal life was weighing me down and I fell off the wagon. I was to embarrassed to tell anyone especially my pastor. Well, bless his heart he just did not know what to do. So he wrote my resignation letter, persuaded me to sign it, said I would never work in another church again, said I want say anything about my sin to anyone if I told my wife and family, lied, attempted to destroy me and my family by telling every pastor and church in the community, and threatened the church not to call or support me or my family in any way or he would resign. WOW, who needs enemies with friends like these. But I loved him, dearly.

It had been 6 months and then my dad died and I decided I needed to get back up on the horse, some how. The sixth pastor came to my house and challenged me to study and pray more and my life would change; and it did. This pastor counseled me and became my friend and help me to heal. I had never been as close to the Lord as I was through this time. He loved God, his family, music and was an outstanding musician. I honestly thought I would get to serve once again under his leadership. But, before that happened the church went crazy and voted him out. I really loved this one and I miss him much.

The seventh pastor was an intern and he loved me enough to rebuke me and question my walk. But, he stated that he personally would not reinstate me into a staff position until after 5 years from when I got "the boot". Not real sure about that one, but he meant well and I enjoyed his preaching.

The next pastor has come into the fold. GOD BLESS HIM! It has been 3 1/2 hears since my full-time ministry dissolved in a trail of blaze and I currently am in the band. No, I'm not the drummer. I am able to sing and play and lead through the praise band. I have done special music and visited other churches and sang. The last church I visited printed in the bulletin for the Sunday Night Service "Steve Hardin in Concert" - now that can give a confidence boost. They were lovely and it was a blessing. They just so happened to vote on looking for a music minister that evening in a business meeting; 1 1/2 hours away - no, I don't think so.

I am questioning my walk with the Lord and at the same time I'm ready to lead again. The new pastor seems humble enough. He has preached the word and seems sincere about his call and path of ministry. He has a lovely family. He seeks to be encouraging and supportive and loving. He has a strong education background and continues to seek to expand his theological education. The church seems to be very excited and the attendance is beginning to pick up again. He has launched an evangelistic program that the church seems to be excited about. He supports the praise band and wants to here more of it. HE SOUNDS GREAT! But what if?

What if he's crazy? What if he's a backstabber? What if he first loves and then denies? What if he seems sound in his faith only to turn from the really sick in sin? What if? What if he's human?

2 Timothy 1:7 states that "for God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (sound mind)".

But, I am scared. I am scared to love again. I am scared to support again. I am scared to get to know yet another again. How do you keep loving, supporting and encouraging yet another when all you've known is fear, and defeat as you have attempted to get back up on the horse again and again? How do seek to serve again when all you feel is that every move you make you are getting judged again and again for your past? How?

Psalms 19: 13 states "Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me...."

We are commanded to love as in 1 Corinthians 13. We are commanded to fight the good fight of the faith in 1 Timothy 6:12. We are commanded to share every good thing with our teacher and master.

Proverbs 3:27 states "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act".

Hebrews 10:23-25 states "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching".

The point is; every pastor is human too, and every pastor makes mistakes and sins. Now it is time for me as a believer to choose to love, support, and minister to yet - another pastor.