HOPE

Hope is a word I take for granted.

–noun
1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best:

–verb
6. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
7. to believe, desire, or trust:

Taking for granted that I will never have to use Hope. Hope is what I would like to see happen. I believe, so it will happen. I trust, in hope that I will never be hurt. I desire and choose my own destiny. I tend to make choices I can control. Then I will not have to rely on hope.

Every addict must make a choice. You choose to let your addiction overcome you; or you overcome your addiction. It's more in my own control if I STATE I will overcome my addition; but in reality I am still choosing to maintain some type of control over my own addition. When in actuality, as a human this is impossible.

So if it is impossible, why bother?

"With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10: 27

2006 was the worse year of my life. My addiction to sin led to my fall from grace, I almost lost my family and then my father died. I lost everything the Lord had placed in me from the beginning to do with my life - and then I lost the only man of God in my life that still loved me no matter what; Good Grief!

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man..." 1 Corinthians 10:12-13a

17 years of service in the church on the front lines - GONE!

Well, I wasn't sure if I would ever be restored - still am not sure.

What I do know is that when I left God; He never left me. When I stopped believing; He never stop believing in me. When I thought it is over; He brought me new life. When I said "What the hell!"; He said, not today son.

I have tried to leave the church. I have tried to completely turn my back on God. I have attempted to reject hope - but when I do, He is always sending somebody to restore hope in my life.

Why is hope so important?

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

I long to serve as I once did. I long to love as once did. I long to seek the lost as I once did. I long to live as I once did. I long to sing as I once did.

An Addict without hope is sick.

To all my fellow addicts, struggling to understand if there is any reason to keep on. There is always HOPE.

A favorite song of mine of the 80's was sung by the group TRUTH, entitled "There Is A Hope". I was not able to download a video but you can listen to the song from the link listed on the side bar. If you take the time - I believe you will be blessed.

Stress

It is not the norm for me to express emotion through the daily goings on of my life. However since it has been over a month, I thought I should do something that would help me at least do a little of what I enjoy, which is write.

Stress is a word we use normally when we are expressing an emotion of heaviness about a place we may be in our life at the present moment. It could be related to job, family, Christmas, a anniversary of someones death, CHURCH, you get the picture.

I thought it interesting to share some actual meanings of the word stress.

noun

1.	importance or significance attached to a thing; emphasis: to lay stress upon good manners.

4. emphasis in melody, rhythm, etc.; beat.
6. Mechanics.

a.	the action on a body of any system of balanced forces whereby strain or deformation results.

7. Physiology. a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.
–verb (used with object)

11.	to lay stress on; emphasize.

And my personal favorite:

1. A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.

There is also the ways in which we deal with stress or stressors. Eating, Drinking alcohol for the numbness affect, Eating, Using Chemicals for the numbness affect, Eating, Smoking, Prescription meds, Eating, Spending Money, Eating,

I have found myself more stressed this year due to Christmas, Family, MY JOB,

I am blessed to have such a great job where I can help people, be a part of their family and really feel good about myself.

For example being told that the home placement you requested for the 15 year old foster child is not yet approved and it is now the week of Christmas and we do not no where he will live as of yet: Stress

And I got a call from a client this week just to inform me that he and his girlfriend has chosen to procreate and the baby is due in August: Stress

And what about the state representative calling and stating that the way one of my client's have been funded for housing is being cut and I need to apply for another way to fund where he lives: Stress

Yes, and what about the reality of never feeling that you will ever be able to do the one thing you have loved all your life since birth again; Stress

Yes, stress is a lovely part of life. However I do remember earlier years when I dealt with it better than I do now. Could it be age, circumstances, past failures?

I have to say that I miss my father. After my fall from grace, my dad was the only one that loved me regardless - then God took him from me. I have to say I think I'm bitter.

I do recognize the fact that the lack of spiritual re-newness is of the most detriment.

I do not really stress over what is going on in our Country - it is what happens when we turn from God. It would be very judgmental of me to state that if you are experiencing stress than you are lacking in the word - I can only say that of myself.

I guess worry is another word we can use for stress. The Word says worry doesn't add any length to our life, so what's the point? And yet it is so easy for us to do.

Just thoughts and anxiety I am having in this time in my life. I appreciate the opportunity to just share. I will be doing it more often. Thanks!

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him form them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken". Psalms 34:17-20

FEAR

I was completely terrified; I had never done anything like this before. The pianist handed me a song to sight read for the audition. I quickly viewed the piece and the music started. "Rocky Top", I 'll never forget it. It was one of the most memorable times. Auditioning for Carowinds to be a show person was a pretty big deal. I think I did ok with the vocals, but the dance number; WELL! We had to memorize a numerous amount of choreography within minutes and then perform a few at a time; Vibology by Paula Abdul.

Needless to say I did not make it; thank God!, but it was fun to try out, new experiences and all.

fear–noun

1.	a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Whether the threat is real or imagined - my fear has always been pretty real feeling. Like the time I couldn't speak and say my vows at the wedding and the pastor had to repeat them; or when I almost passed out. Or, like the time we had our first child and I looked to see my first born cut out and my wife's womb stretched for miles. Or, like the time I lost my wife's dog, because the darn dog had Alzheimer and forgot what door to come back to on our home and found her way a half mile at the neighbors. Or, when the lady stopped and asked me if I had a small brown dog - and then tells me she just hit it with her car - another event on my watch.

Well, the Bible tells us He does not give us a spirit of fear in 2 Timothy 1. He also states that we should not place any confidence in the flesh; Philippians. "The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear?" Psalm 27:1

Wow! If we place our just in God and never fear man, oh what we could accomplish.

Hear is one I have recently experienced; "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love". 1 John 4:18.

Like when the pastor and the deacon board of your church asks you and your wife to meet with them so they can encourage you and pray over you and speak the power of God over your life. Yeah, WOW! Talk about perfect love casting out fear - Satan HATES that.

Unfortunately, after an experience like that your human side kicks in and says, "OK, the Lord is getting you ready for something else in your life" it's always about God! He gives you a lot of healing and he expects a little step closer to Him.

Well, hear I am again scared of what God wants to do in my life. I guess I better get serious since he again fulfills his Word and now the balls in my court.

Prayer:
Lord, help me to understand and live in the knowledge of your word. Also help me to remember the definition of the word - Whether the threat is real or IMAGINED - Fear.

Thank God for Friends

Why would one choose not to seek out friendship from another? I had a dear pastor friend state to me in a time of fear and of "funkiness" that he would rather risk getting hurt and Love than not to have Loved at all. This statement has never left me and so I share today some love stories.

"Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father..." Proverbs 27:10

I enjoy an evening with good friends, those in whom you have been sick of only to become nauseous when they speak about moving. - One nice relaxing evening at home a friend stopped by to visit. As we were sharing about our day and spending time a noise came from the front door. We were captured with silence as the darkness was thick on the outside. The noise happened again and it sounded as if someone was trying to open the door. In panic we all accessed the situation in our minds of what to do - first as any good man would do, I did nothing. In her own powerful adrenaline flow my wife proceeds to run to the door, grab hold of the door knob and prop her whole body up against the door so there is no way the demon on the other side could get through. After a moment of quietness I go to the door, my wife flips the light on and then proceeds to open the door to find the CAT playing with the doorknob. Well, we take a deep breath and as we head back to our seats we notice our friend laying on the coach with the throw pulled up over her face, feet showing - as if the blanket was made of steal and would protect her from the monster trying to kill her.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

Another evening at home our friend stops by and this time we are enjoying the evening on the front porch. Sharing for the day - never gossiping - I, being the strapping man I am notice in the dark of the night a long slender figure on the porch one post away. As I realized what "it" was I gentle say to our friend to move slowly and quietly to the door of the house - It was a HUGH black snake making it's way from above down a porch post. Now, I did what any outdoors-man like myself would do and ran inside the house. Our friend followed and we both had a time of squealing like girls. The snake moved rather quickly and when we thought of how close it was without our knowledge - we squealed some more. The woman of the house - my wife - proceeded to handle the situation with a rock; A ROCK! That's my girl!! My wife began throwing the rock at the creature of large pa-portions and with every throw our friend and my self would squeal again. My wife seemed to have completed destroying the beast. She then turned to enter the house and found us peering through the glass on the front door. She realized by having the door shut tightly for nothing to enter; the house had been kept safe by myself, our friend and our 80 pound black lab.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27: 6

Our friends can be seen as an interesting mix; a full blooded Mexican woman and a full blooded white man. Through the years we have laughed, cried, smiled, fussed, cried and cried some more. I, in my younger days of getting acquainted with this man that is married to the Mexican woman, had always sought out ways to loosen up this "always having it together type" of a man. They are blessed with two beautiful boys and we have enjoyed our times of growing together as friends for 10+ years. - Myself, my friend and his son were coming back to my house from doing something? It had began to rain. I, with my bright ideas and constantly seeking out ways to crack the tough exterior shell of "the man" proceeded to climb on the trampoline and jump in the rain. With no hesitation my friend and his son climb on the trampoline as well and we jumped away. What a picture - two grown men and a moose of younger man jumping around on a trampoline - IN THE RAIN - my heart warms as I think back.

"A man of many companions my come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

No one sticks closer than a brother in our time(s) of need than Jesus Christ - but when you have no where to turn - thank God for FRIENDS!

Please enjoy the video song today. When it first was recorded - the radio's ran it in the ground. But, as years have passed and we have grown closer to many of our friends, the song means more now than ever.

Please scroll down for some friendship pics - what's really cool is while your listening to the song, look at the pics.